HELL YEAH!I was told that I am to LOUD before when I was young and since then got a reputation for being more like a TRASHER or one of the DUDES, THAN A LADY LIKE.......... I MIGHT SAY, SO?! was that even been a big problem to your system and you want me to be a barbie like who's image is just smiling eventhough being strangled, hurt and pushed around as always!?I AM NO DOLL NOT EVEN A BARBIE!

(Hoy!Putang ina mo!lumaki ka sa hirap huwag kang magpakasosyal!lalo na kung alam mo hindi karapat dapat!) in english:"Oi, Mother fucker you lived your whole life since a child that was not so rich, so don't be faker to act like a socialite or something specialy when that is not appropriate to be like that on a certain manner"be real every people lives like a MONKEY sometimes and LIKE the VIKINGS!

How to act like a LADY LIKE?!well! well! well! I got no CLUE and I don't have time to be acting like I am, for my situation is not on that state either! I AM A BUM right now and even if I got a JOB I won't still be acting like that, reputations comes from what you have been doing to some people, and not being like one of those in a monarchy or something. I might be rude somehow but to be dainty and lady like on the inside!that I can't say!because FIRST OF ALL "I DO NOT LIKE GOSSIPS UNLESS I WAS AND BEEN TALKING FOR YOU FOR LIKE YEARS, OR YOU'RE ONE OF THE PEOPLE NEAR MY HOUSE THAT I ALWAYS SEE OR ONE OF MY OLD SCHOOLMATES".

SECOND OF ALL "I HATE DOLLS! I HATE WANNA BE DOLLS!".

and the rest goes to these. And for all I knew I spend most half of my life caring for other people rather than caring for my own family.

When I was like 7-8 years of age to be approximate, my mother keep on giving me DOLLS specially her most christmas gifts. One doll I remember was that doll wearing an english type of dress, "REALLY SCARED ME TO DEATH!" like whenever i see her she's like MOVING TOWARDS ME and wants to grab me (lol) but seriously I am not a GIRLY GIRL type, some people might say"OH!SHE GOT TONS OF CRUSHES AND SHE ADMIRES MOSTLY BOYS", but honestly I did not even have a boyfriend when I was in grade school till high school, I can't even benefit the fact to be one of the lesbians, who am I kidding, I might admire some girls but not that much, maybe wants to hide myself by being bullied that time.

I grew up in what they called almost a middle class family, with right manners, like you can't make me just go to somewhere when not invited, you can't make me go to someone else's room just like that or even inside someone else's house, just like that EVENTHOUGH you are the closest of my friends, If I won't be told to COME IN I won't, though like a typical type of a human being I eat in someone else's place same as I let them eat on my place. That's normal for me like what everybody else said GIVING some of what you have.

Then I grew up, then environment and curiosity change most part of me. HONESTLY"CHANGING IS THAT EASY FOR ME, FOR  WHEN COMEs TO EVERYTHING MOSTLY BAD PART OF LIFE I'M QUICKLY INFLUENCED AND I CAN'T SAY THAT I DID NOT LIKED THAT, for if I did not I won't be part of the bad system before where they said to be the MODERN TYPE OF KIDS. For many Being bad is what I always do, for the aspects of my reputation turned that way, but as that is I am quickly INFLUENCED IN A GOOD WAY TOO, mostly i act to be over exaggerated when I thought of such things. I don't know that just like me being me.

But for such things, I learned ALOT.  Even in the part of LOVING SOMEBODY! I learned that MOSTLY that LOVE JUST AIN"T ENOUGH TO...... FEED YOU, TO GIVE THINGS THAT YOU WANT AND NEED AND ETC.(mostly materials) lol. Considering that fact you need to exert some efforts of living too by HELPING YOUR PARTNER not to be just a FUCKING DOLL AND  BUM to him/her.

I SWEAR ALOT, my mouth is DIRTY and my hands as well, I am just a human being who has sense of being pissed mostly and has an urge of anger, I acted like a wild animal before when I am mad and very angry but that doesn't mean that I will never change, and that doesn't mean"I NEED TO CHANGE MOST OF THOSE TO HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER LIFE"I always see those words on a FAIRY TALE BOOK! and mostly fairy tales are like BORING!Isn't life that easy enough for a child who never do anything but to sit, eat, play, sleep and go to school, no PROBLEMS!so easy! in their eyes they don't know what money and what cleaning the house means.

Sometime I asked someone, what if some of those people who are well known to be RICH and FAMOUS does a part on living on some SLUMBERS!for YEARS! what would they look like? because I been out here with a broken faucet and shower just those things!"TRUST ME I EVEN CRIED FOR DAYS BECAUSE OF THAT"I am not that RICH I am a failure in such ways, but honestly that freaks me out like what the FUCK! what the HELL! MOTHERFUCKER! LIKE ALL THE SWEARING CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH OF EVERY FREAKING DAY!that was so hard!I can't do most of the CLEANING HOUSE PART and I can't do dishes, but I got nothing to do but to just agree because I got no job and if I got money that will not take that long.

And what if a guy marries someone who is rich like him then business failed job lost or monarchy drop outs. LOL! I mean what if?!THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE LIKE"NO MONEY NO HONEY!, NO NEW GADGETS NO HONEY!, NO JEWELRIES NO HONEY!, NO SET OF MAKE UPS, NO HONEY"BUT HONEY WE JUST FUCKED LAST NIGHT THO' YOU GAVE ME A BRAND NEW CAR! and that is the main reason why you NEED TO SIGN THIS DIVORCE PAPERS!lol

AND THE MAN KEEPS ON YELLING WHAT ABOUT!?"NO CLEAN HOUSE, NO JEWELRIES!, NO NUTRITIOUS COOKED FOOD, NO MONEY!, NO TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS, NO NEW THINGS!like your husband is your boss and you are the so called housemaid that do house chores basically  

(which is normal)while he provides things that will benefit you as a woman with a happy so called life!(that is not a fairy tale that is true)but for now a days to have some extra things both of you the man and the woman needs to work, extra things might be luxurious or not at least those things comes in handy without any hassles like being in debt or what ever.

So you see being LOUD! being a  brought up in a JUNGLE LIKE HUMAN BEING, being in what ever classes in life is NOT THE BASIC FOUNDATION TO GAIN SOMETHING TO YOURSELF, there are different causes  in life IN SUCH CLASSIFICATIONS that may occur and trust me being in PAIN, ANGER, POVERTY, DEBT, SICKNESS, and other unusual UNWANTED things IS NOT THAT EASY, THAT CAUSES EMOTIONAL TRAUMA TO ONESELF AS A HUMAN BEING. And emotional traumas is like LARGER THAN BEING BEATEN IT'S LIKE BEING BULLIED IN SUCH WAYS THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN ESCAPE, LIKE A MAIN THREAT TO SOMEBODY'S SANITY.

JUSTIFICATION TO SOMEONE ELSE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE LIKE"IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE DON'T TALK OR EVEN COMMENT FOR THAT CAN BE A RESULT OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S PAIN IN A STATE OF WHAT THEY CALL SELF PITY OR WHATEVER SHE/HE'D BEEN GOING THROUGH."act ABNORMAL be a clown rather than a suspicious AGENT or a normal plank like human.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON BEHIND FOR SOMEBODY TO CHANGE AND BE LIKE WHAT HE/SHE IS RIGHT NOW. So don't be nosy and act like'OH!I KNOW HER EVERSINCE SHE WAS A FETUS!"ASSHOLES SCUMBAGS FREAKAZOIDS!

FOR YOU CAN'T KNOW A PERSON IN JUST MONTHS, MOSTLY NOT EVEN YEARS FOR LIKE IN PEOPLE WHO WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP EVEN 10 OR MORE YEARS OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE A SO CALLED GUIDELINE. PEOPLE CHANGE IN DIFFERENT ASPECTS SHE/HE MIGHT BE LIKE THAT BEFORE BUT WHEN SHE/HE BEEN IN SOMEWHERE/ELSEWHERE, you will just say "SHE/HE WASN'T LIKE THE PERSON I USED TO KNOW anymore".(to be continued........)